Вчера у меня вышел такой унылый разговор с А...может, это все одновременное просматривания Bloodflowers...у РС такое лицо, словно, он сейчас заплачет...и он смотрит наверх, чтобы сдержать слезы в блестящих глазах...волшебно и убийственно. Так или иначе, у меня зародились грустные мысли по поводу А, такие, что и правда хоть плач. Я больше его не слышую не понимаю...
I don’t have a notion
What is happening to us
Where we are going
To burn to ashes or turn to dust
I only see I’m losing touch
With those I held so dear
Those that I thought I understood
Believed that they could understand me
But now it’s fading , I am helpless
Like sand that’s slipping thru my hands
Can’t keep this treasure no longer
And out of treasure grew just shit
We grow apart…not close like we were
Or was it just my desperate wish
OR was it a lie that I believed in
And made fake reality out of it
Now I must face it, I don’t need you
And there’s no reason why you should need me
Our paths diverge, I’m on the crossroads
But mist has wrapped our lonesome hearts
I can’t see further, but for now
I’m disillusioned, lost and weary
Confused like a little child
Confused, but knowing what I need
But you are no longer option
A useless way to kill my time
Our conversations get me nowhere
Just bring me to the borderline
Where it comes to my red sore eyes
A vision of us disappearing
Different directions, different views
I knew it would be this way, didn’t i
I knew someday we’ll be this drained
Of feelings towards us…they’re dying
And nothing in the world can save them
Nothing can make you feel like I do
Or love and speak and think like me
You’re living in reality
While I’ve hid in my own haven
And don’t wanna give you any keys
But even watching now your changing
And how afar I stand from you
I figure all has lost its meaning
And nothing stays the way it were
And people can’t change at a time
Now matter if they were true friends
How did it happen that we parted
And how occurred that we have altered
Is it me who has stayed behind?
Or is it you who’s gone too far
Is it me remaining childish
Or you – matured, growing old
Our interests do no longer coincide
We dream of different signs and things
I’m losing you, you’re losing me
But isn’t it just how it meant to be?
Then why does it ache so much
To confess there’s a chasm between us
Why does it hurt me like hell
To face friendship slowing to a halt
No tears, but soul filled with bitterness
No regrets, but uselessness of all
The remaining faith is slaughtered in me
By your words that make no sense to me
And your deeds – foul and stupid to me
I wish I could freeze you
In the state I liked you in
But you grow older and older
And splinters of my faith all fade away…